Choosing your refuge location

Ok, so how in the world did we end up in this fishing village in Panama? Before I met my wife I was traveling a couple of times each year to central america to surf and see if I could find some cheap land. In the summer of 2015 I decided to go on a surf trip to Panama. I was driving late at night down a dangerous mountain road and lost control of my vehicle. I went flying over the edge of a cliff sans seat belt. My vehicle rolled down the face of the cliff until it slammed into a boulder, stopping my descent . When I came to, the bones in my face were shattered from ‘eating’ the steering wheel. Blood was gushing out of a deep laceration running from the corner of my mouth into my cheek. My right hand was broken and the femur of my right leg had been ripped out of my pelvis. Amazingly, somehow my hands were still clenched onto the steering wheel.

It was pitch black and I couldn’t see a thing. The sounds of wild animals echoed all around me. An icy chill ran down my spine that I never felt before. Death was knocking at my door. My survival instincts kicked in. I tried to get out, but realized I couldn’t free my feet. I groped downwards with my good hand and found something truly bizarre. All three of the cars pedals formed a perfect noose around both of my ankles. The first of many miracles that would follow. It took alot of effort but I managed to pull my feet out one at a time. The windshield had sprung out without breaking in pieces. So, I pulled myself over the dash and onto the hood not knowing if there was a safe landing below. I hit the ground and let out an agonizing scream. The pain alone made me want to die. Laying on the dirt, I looked up towards where I thought the road should be. I could barely see it and it was a long ways up. My chances of getting up there? Nil.

Alot of people who who have a near death experience talk about having flashbacks or some spiritual revelation. All I could think about was the life I still had ahead of me. I felt angry and cheated. I had renounced my belief in God until then, but inevitably it came to my mind. As I lay there bleeding out and groaning in pain I heard a dark voice in my ear which said “You see what God did to you?!” I thought I was going mad and remained silent. It chimed in again and said “Just curse God and die!” I thought about it and despite everything, I felt my last dying thoughts should at least be truthful. I replied “God did not drive the car off the cliff – I did!”

Then the voice disappeared and so did the evil presence I felt was next to me. Instantly, there came a clarity of mind which can only be described as an awareness of God’s presence in my situation. I didn’t have anything eloquent to say, but I told Him “I know I don’t deserve heaven and I’m not asking to get in, but I am sorry for the wrongs I’ve done. Just let me die, put me out of my misery.” I closed my eyes and accepted my fate. The cold chill ran down my spine again as I lost consciousness. I felt as if I was sinking into a deep pit never to return.

No, I did not have an out of body experience. I did not see heaven or hell. I went into total silence and darkness, like as if I had never been born. I don’t know how long I was dead but I knew I had died. Then I was brought back and woke up gasping for air. “I’m still alive?” I asked. At first I thought I was dreaming because I felt nothing, but the pain in my injuries returned in full force. Yes I was alive, but my predicament had not changed. Perhaps my prayer had been heard and I was being offered a chance to live? My next prayer was coarse, but it was sincere. “Well, if You want me alive then You better get me out of here!”

In my mind it seemed impossible, but with God all things are possible. I then heard a new voice, that said “You have a flashlight.” I thought to myself that I was either insane or the brunt of a really sick joke. The only flashlight was in the car and I couldn’t even get on my knees to crawl back towards it. The angel repeated himself firmly once more. I began searching around my body, but found nothing. I searched my clothes and still nothing. Then, as I passed my hand over my jacket I felt something in it. Right before I went over the cliff I had put this jacket on and did not know it had a reading light in it.

A reading light? How can I signal for help so far down from the road’s edge with this? (I found out later from the rescue crew I was about 50 meters / 150 feet down the cliff). The glass lens on the penlight was broken and I clicked it a couple times to see if it worked. On the second try, it lit up and eventhough part of me thought it was still hopeless I aimed it up and started to yell in spanish “Auxilio!”

At this point it was now 3 am and a police officer was making the drive up the mountain in my direction. He had been pulled out of bed because a riot broke out in the jail of Las Tablas and every able bodied man was needed there. As he passed the place where I was, he saw the small beam flash up besides the road, but he kept driving. He thought it was just some crazy guy looking for lost cattle. It turns out that a voice began to speak to him in the car telling him to turn around and look into it. He too thought he was losing his mind and as he recounted the story he shook his head saying “Esa voz me hizo venir a mirar” (that voice made me come back and take a look). According to him, this went on for nearly fifteen minutes until he was compelled to turn around.

When I heard the officer’s voice shouting down to me, I had by then almost given up on being rescued. Once the fire fighters came and pulled me up we went to the closest hospital. Not having the right supplies and equipment on hand they did their best to get me stable. In order to push the head of my femur back into my pelvis they needed to sedate me. All they could find were epidurals. After 5 excruciatingly painful injections into my spine I passed out. I woke up the next day in a child size bed with my leg hanging from a crudely made pulley. My basic survival needs were met but as I looked around me I knew I needed to get to a real hospital ‘pronto’. I spent two weeks there allowing the head of my femur to heal in its newly found socket. My gut feeling though was to get back to the states ASAP. The staff tried to stop me, warning me of my condition, but I got into a taxi anyway and headed straight to the airport.

Once back in the states I went straight to the emergency room and from there into a series of tests and finally surgery. It took two weeks to put me back together again. The shattered bones in my face had fused already and required to be broken apart and re-assembled. I was going blind in one eye due to the nerves being cut by shards of bone. No easy task. By divine intervention I was assigned the best plastic surgeon in that hospital. Once done the doctors told me it would take me two years to walk and that I would be limping for the rest of my life. I prayed and told God I was just grateful to be alive. I also asked Him for help for what lay ahead.

Once I was released from the hospital I started to read the bible more. I knew that The Lord was in the business of healing. I also saw that the scriptures spoke of our duty to eat healthful and cultivate wellness. I got on a heavier dose of plant based foods and whole foods supplements. God can do miracles, but He has given us miraculous tools to take advantage of as well. Two weeks later, my mother called me and said that a co-worker of hers heard my story and wanted to help. She told me that he was a christian that God used in healing people. I agreed and called him up.

When he came over, he prayed over me and I felt what I can only describe as power entering my wounds and coursing through my body. It was not an entirely pleasant feeling, I did feel tremendous pain. But, it was a good pain so to speak. While I was still wincing he spoke and said “God tells me you will be walking in one month”. ” Wow, one month?” I thought to myself. If this is God then He can do it. He also told me to ditch my crutches and start putting weight on my leg. That wasn’t in line with my doctors orders but I decided to trust God.

During that next month I began a journey into holistic medicine in order to work more in harmony with God’s way of healing. I felt led to look more closely at our modern life and realized that humanity was completely upside down in everything. The truths I began to see in the scriptures as well as in holistic practices quickly convinced me of one thing. I knew it was God’s will for His people that we should adopt a different way to live. In my specific case I was convinced I should leave the city life and head for wild country – permanently. At this point it was only a dream but I felt very strongly about going in this direction.

The month’s end was almost at hand and I was close to walking again just like God said. The doctors were baffled. Only a slight limp and it too was going away. My faith was beaming and my only question in prayer was to know what The Lord wanted me to do next. My friend returned one day to see my progress. The very next thing he told me blew me away. He said “God tells me he wants you in Panama and God tells me he has your wife in Panama”. I will be honest. I was not exactly excited about returning to Panama. I had flashbacks of all the horror I went through. But, I knew my life now belonged to The Lord and I nodded my head.

I spent another month wrapping my head around it. My bible studies and time of prayer led me to have the faith to trust God and go. The Spirit kept moving me to research subjects dealing with organic gardening and living a sustainable life out in wild country. I did not have much money, but I knew that many other saints have had to do the same and God did not fail them. So I bought my ticket and packed my bags.

It was around thanksgiving day when I landed in Panama City. I rented a car and revisited a couple familiar places. Doors were not opening anywhere in such a way to make me feel I should stay. I then went to the north coast of the Azuero peninsula, where I had been to one time in the past and found a small room to rent in the town of Quebro.

One day, on my way to the beach of Mariato I saw a young lady crossing the street in front of me. I came to a stop and clumsily found a way to say hi. Then I ran into her a couple of weeks later at the same spot. I asked her if she had gone surfing yet. I offered her a ride to the beach and she accepted.  As we talked, we eventually got to the subject of my testimony, and I told her about how The Lord saved me.  She told me that God had also been moving upon her heart to seek Him.  I was happy to meet her and offered to give her a ride again some time.  Well, after a few rides our conversations led us to talk about salvation, these end times and what we wanted to do with our lives. It turned out that all the subjects I had been studying in terms of the bible, holistic medicine and sustainable living were on her radar as well. We agreed on the concept of creating a good refuge away from what we then called “Babylon”. Our common faith and direction made our friendship quickly turn into a sincere loving relationship. One day we talked about baptism and she said she wanted to commit her life fully to The Lord. After being baptized and presenting our lives as a couple before God in prayer we decided to marry. It was now the end of December.

The next step was to find a place to rent and the plan was to search for a piece of land. We had no idea what we were doing.  It was a combination of newlywed love, a sense of adventure and blind faith.  We drove up and down the coast starting at Mariato and going as far as Arenas.  Out of all the places we went to, the only doors that opened up were in the small fishing village of Malena.  We didn’t think it was going to permanent, but with time we started to compare it with other neighboring towns and saw that it had a lot of advantages.  

Our list of pros went something like this: Mountain spring fed tap water, an ideal climate for year-round cultivation, a low cost of living, a main town with decent infrastructure minutes away, public transport, living in front of the ocean and being able to score fresh seafood dirt-cheap.  As the man of the house I cringe now at not having thought it out a bit more back then. Fortunately, it ended up being a good place.

In 2016 we bought a small piece of land and started building the foundation of our future home. We were also blessed with a healthy baby boy. Then the pandemic struck, and for a moment we wondered. The fearmongering of the media and the natural doubts that arise for young parents can take a toll on you. It turned out we were in one of the best places to be during the crisis. This was mainly due to being far from any city, living in a sparsely populated area and having zero policing activity.  We were still able to go to the beach, work in the garden and pretty much go on with a normal life.  There were cases popping up here and there, but, during the whole lockdown phase we never got sick. All we had to do was keep to ourselves and stay healthy.